Just thoughts!!

A couple of years ago, I shared one of the most unexpectedly beautiful evenings of my life with someone special. We’d seen each other around before familiar faces in familiar spaces  but we hadn’t truly spoken until that day. Something just clicked when we finally did. She smiled and said, “Would you like to meet outside practice sometime?” I hesitated for a moment more out of surprise than doubt but something in her eyes made me say yes. That evening, I already had somewhere to be, but I figured it would be quick  maybe an hour at most. We met up, and she suggested, “Let’s walk along the beach.” We slipped past the thick trees that separated the world we knew from the shoreline, and just like that, everything changed. The beach was nearly empty, quiet except for the sound of the waves washing over the sand. We walked, side by side, no destination, just conversation. Time moved differently there  I didn’t notice it passing. I remember her looking out at the sunset, comple...

  What  kind of madness is this? The logic escapes me completely. The more I try to make sense of it, the more lost I become — like sinking into quicksand. The harder I try to understand, the deeper I’m pulled into something bottomless and unreachable. How can you look at me the way you do, speak to me the way you do, act around me the way you do… and still say there’s nothing there? Why even bother then? If there’s truly nothing, then please — don’t talk to me. Don’t look at me. Don’t come near me. I get it now. The message is loud and clear. Just because you’re drawn to chaos,  because complication thrills you and makes you feel alive, doesn’t mean you have the right to drag others into your web for your own amusement. Some of us already have enough chaos in our lives. We’re not searching for a puzzle, or a game. There’s no tug-of-war here. It’s either yes, or no. And if it’s yes…  then let it be joy, not confusion. Let it be clarity, not cruelty. Because I’m done ...